Hey all. So I’ve been lurking on this forum for a few weeks, trying the low-carb thing….and I realize I like it, but I need to be hald accountable to someone because i keep breaking and having one sweet.
I’m turning 23 in a little over one month, and I’m determined to get the scale going in the other direction. Growing up, I was definitely a pudgy kid. The parentals emphasized cleaning our plate. I hated my weight, would get depressed and eat snacks. Mom would yell at me so I would sneak food. By the time I hit college, I was 175 at 5′8". I hated myself. First year in college, I didn’t actually gain anything…I was a rower and so I often ate with my team, but I got really depressed that year. After finally finishing up the year with rock bottom grades and a self esteem to match, I came back for summer vacation and was determined to turn things around. I asked my mom, "How can I lose weight?" Her response…"STOP eating."
Well, I did….that summer, i probably ate about 500 cals a day with intense workouts. for the next 2 years, i subsisted on somewhere between 800-1200cals a day while working out every day for 1-2 hours. My weight dropped to 110. I was sick all the time, running around like crazy because I was pledging a co-ed frat. My friends convinced me to go see a doctor who was convinced I was anorexic. I didn’t think so, and I still don’t. I ate a lot. granted, everything i ate had no fat, but i did eat a lot. at 110 i looked rather dreadful, all bony and sickly. my ideal weight was 120. i would still love to be there.
at the end of my 3rd year in college, i started dating a guy in my frat. he said he liked my despite my bony chest and lack of a butt. he enouraged me to start eating more. as i started becoming happier, i started eating again….and I COULDN’T STOP. 2 years later, i’m almost back to where i started. at 165, i once again feel like a fat, miserable failure. i know i need to do something to turn this around. but when i get depressed i eat, then i give up and eat more. i still work out…mainly cardio so i do need to do weights. I did atkins once before for only 2 weeks before i cracked and lost 8 pounds. i know i eat way too much sugar and carbs and little to no protein when i eat normally which never satiates me. i always feel empty.
my goal is to lose some drastic weight….ideally, now i want to get back to 130. i can, i just need to get a jump start on the weight loss. so this is my attempt to feel accountable to someone. so, now i’m going to make a turnaround. i want to get my eating and weight back under my control.
and here we go!